Columbia organizations, advocates provide support for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Sara Barber, executive director of the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, recalls the case that haunts her.

“The story that sticks with me most is where I was trying to help (the victim), connect her with Sistercare, help her get supplies for her children,” Barber said. “Then she stopped returning my calls.”

The next time Barber saw her name was in the newspaper. She had died as a result of domestic violence.

October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Domestic violence refers to physical, emotional or psychological abuse used to control another person.

Barber’s story is a reality for many victims in South Carolina.

“As an advocate, it’s really important that you always carry hope with you or else you cannot do this work effectively,” Barber said of the profession.

South Carolina has ranked in the top 10 states for the rate of women killed by men 23 of the 25 years the record has been kept, according to the national Violence Policy Center. The exceptions were 2018 and 2020.

The center stopped its statewide reports in 2023, Barber said. The most recent edition was published in 2022, which analyzed 2020 data.

The types of abuse can sometimes differ between men and women, Kalynn Benoit, community engagement coordinator for Columbia’s Sistercare organization said.

“A lot of the women that we see have more physical abuse, and a lot of the men that we see have more emotional and psychological abuse,” Benoit said. “But it can look the same between any group. It really doesn’t discriminate at all.”

Sistercare runs an emergency shelter and provides services, including counseling and court advocacy, to help survivors rebuild their lives.

Benoit said a common misconception with domestic violence is that survivors can easily get out of an abusive situation.

“The coercion and the control that goes behind domestic violence makes people feel like they can’t leave,” Benoit said.

There are red flags that have emerged in domestic violence situations in the digital age, Benoit said.

“Stalking, tracking and keeping ties on your partner at all times of what they’re doing has become a huge part of a red flag,” Benoit said. “If you have a (partner) who is calling you 40 times within a 10 minute span because your location is turned off for a second or you’re in a location that they’re not used to seeing you in – that’s a huge red flag.”

Domestic violence doesn’t affect just one community. Anybody can experience it.

“Every survivor that I have ever seen looks completely different,” Benoit said. “You wouldn’t know that they’re all in the same situation.”

Domestic Violence Awareness Month isn’t limited to the month of October. Sistercare does year-round events to help survivors, such as the 5k EmpoweRun and Songbird Cafe for a night of music and fundraising.

The S.C. Attorney General’s Office held its annual Silent Witness ceremony Oct. 1 at the Statehouse to recognize last year’s domestic violence victims.

“The National Domestic Hotline reported in 2023 that they continue to receive and experience historic demands for services, with nearly 930,000 calls, chats and text messages received,” Attorney General Alan Wilson told those gathered.

This increase in calls means more people are recognizing the problem of domestic violence and looking for help, he said.

“2022 was the last year that we have data,” the Attorney General said. South Carolina “was ranked 23rd, which is at least moving in the right direction – although still too high in my book.”

Columbia will hold its annual Mayor’s Walk Against Domestic Violence on Saturday, Oct. 5, to bring together domestic violence survivors and families who have lost loved ones. The event begins with activities at 8:30 a.m. at Page Ellington Park near Segra Park. The mayor will speak at 10 a.m. The walk begins at 11 a.m.